2009

I'm glad i'm not obligated to anyone to update my blogs or else there'll be many long-necked ppl walking around. Definitely no time and have come to the conclusion i dont nd to except to put thoughts into words where i can see and think it out.

Regret- no time to sit with my little arrows and talk about setting goals for 2009. Don't believe totally in that crap about resolutions are meant to be broken. I believe that since i'm already talking to God about it He's in my resolution-making process and He's directing me in that way too. I've been reminded many times lately that not many live like I do. I'm the 'Totally for God, if not - i might as well be dead...' Wish (this is influenced by the many fairy-tale shows i've been fed with over the schoolhols) = prayer (from a sanctified mind) God-timed opportunities to still talk to my little arrows about what's in store for 2009.

Thot #1 - I would be true...
...for there are those who trust me...
It's easy to be selfish... it's not easy to be selfless - with time, with effort... it's not easy to prefer someone else to ownself... it's not easy to die to self and be more like Him... In every situation whenever i think what would my master do? It always ends up doing what would bless and benefit them, and in doing so i learn to be more like my big daddy and have a bigger heart. Of course there are times i get oh so full of self and wanna have a i-don't-care attitude but... in the end i can't live with myself... So please, Daddy please, ... let me live in a way that others may say 'She's got her Daddy's eyes...'

Thot #2 - Who i am...
... is who He wants me to be...
I ... am not a function ie. daughter, wife, mother, teacher
I ... am not a position ie. leader, etc
I am ... His hands, His link, His blessing to the ppl i come in contact with all the time
I am ... (i want to be) a glimpse of heaven here on earth
I am ... a glimpse of what perfection may be
I am ... a shadow of the shadow of my loving Big Daddy
I am ... not perfect (paradoxical, yet true) but He's working out His perfection in me
I am ... the best that i can be so He will not be ashamed when He speaks of me (but of course, pls don't try me like Job, pleeeeease. Like i told some ppl b4, it's not the dying for Him that i'm afraid of. One of the few things i DO ask of is, pls let it be quick, like a bullet in the head, no torture for me, & don't let my little arrows see me in pain)

Thot #3 - i'm sensitive - & it's OK
Watching all those happily-ever-after shows wasn't a total waste of time (besides the bonding aspect). There are happy endings because my Big Daddy cares. Clause - He's got to be the director, and the script writer. So, guard your heart...!
Big reminder - Be careful little eyes what you see! Junk in = junk out. Got to be careful with all these make-believe. Remember how those demons looked like!
More power more efficacy = more cleansing more sacrifice.

i'm tired... gotta recharge with ever-ready long-lasting dura-cell power from the mains... i've only lived about half my life-span... the best is yet to come...

When will i finally go where...?